There was a time when I used to wonder why my young daughter often spoke rudely to me.
"Caithlyn,have you finished your meal?" I asked her once.
"Later!Can't you see I'm very busy now?"came her reply in a snipping tone.
I had also wonder why her young brother used an authoritarian tone of voice when he wanted something."Gimme this/that!"he would say to me.
"The kids are so rude!"I commented to my wife.
"Well,don't you realize that you are often that way with them?"came her reply.
As much as I loathed admitting it, my wife was right. Like father like son - and daughter!The things I hated hearing from my kids were actually the ones that originated from fours truly.
Whether we like it or not,kids are quick to learn things from their parents - the good ones as well as the bad. What goes in their ears often comes out from their little mouths.
As it had been proved by my kids,we parents can't expect them to bo polite if we are the opposite. If we raise our voices to them,then that is exactly what they will do to us inreturn. If we mutter "S**t" under our breaths in their presence when we get stuck in a bad traffic jam, they too would use the exact expletive when they feel frustrated - and often when we least expect it.
On the other hand, if we cultivate the habit of tagging "thank you" and "please" at the end of what we are saying, they too would learn to add these polite phrases in their daily conversation.
Furthermore,we should never laugh at a poor display of manners. If we collapse in a heap of giggles when a kid calls his baby sister "poopy face", not only we endorse the use of the derogatory name-calling,this would also encourage an encore from him.
Consistency is just as important. We can't tell the kids off for something one day, and then laugh our heads off at the same offence the next time. This would only cnfuse the little ones.
My kids had certainly thaught me to be watchful of the words that slip through my mouths, and to be mindful of the way I behave. We can't say one thing and do the opposite, because kids learn more from watching us behave than from us telling them how to behave. Perhaps you have heard of the story of the hypocritical father of a young boy who was caught stealing at his school. "Why did you steal your classmate's pen?reprimanded the embarrassed father. "Didn't I bring you enough pens from my office last week?"
It's certainly not easy to be on our best behaviour at all times, but that's exactly what we parents have to strive for if we want our kids to grow well-mannered.
So, it really really make me thing back and what i can conclude is what you give you get back.
L.o.g.o.f.f
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